I want to stop. Like for real. So I'm going to start doing regularly updates so I can guilt myself into having more responsibility than just me telling myself to stop.
It's Friday afternoon and I haven't had one day, but I have had at least one every day I've been in Kununurra. I'm sick of using the excuse of "I'm stressed" as why I've had another one. That's a straight up lie anyone, I just like it.
But its gross. You smell bad afterwards which I HATE and really and truly the main reason I'm stopping is because my skin is breaking out terribly. I know its a vacuous and vain reason to stop, but hey, everyone needs their own reason.
Unfortunately Dad's illness wasn't enough to make me stop because I'm still internalising everything about that but Jesus- if I needed a wake up call that should have been it. It's a punch in his face to keep going so I'm going to stop.
I've written it down now. It's out. And maybe only one or two people will read it but maybe that'll be enough of a reminder to stop.
I feel a bit more determined this time. I'm not addicted, its a choice I'm making about a stupid habit that I don't need to do. Fingers crossed eh?